Posted byicon4st4s Posted onFebruary 21, 2023 Comments0

Are you tired of feeling like the skinniest kid in class? Are you ready to finally bulk up and fill out those baggy t-shirts? Look no further, because we’ve got the ultimate guide to gaining weight the American way.

First things first, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: American complexes about being overweight. Sure, we’re bombarded with images of washboard abs and thigh gaps, but let’s be real, who has time for all that kale and spin class? Plus, have you seen the size of our portion sizes? It’s no wonder we’re a nation of beefy, brawny individuals. Embrace your love handles and let’s get to work.

Step 1: Say goodbye to salads and hello to burgers. That’s right, it’s time to indulge in all the greasy, cheesy, carb-y goodness that America has to offer. Think pizza, fried chicken, and all the bacon your heart desires. Bonus points if you can find a restaurant that serves a “gut-busting” challenge.

Step 2: Ditch the diet soda and upgrade to milkshakes. Sure, a Diet Coke may save you a few calories, but where’s the fun in that? A thick, creamy milkshake will not only satisfy your sweet tooth, but it’ll also pack on the pounds in no time.

Step 3: Snack like a champion. Forget carrot sticks and hummus, it’s time to break out the Doritos, Cheetos, and Funyuns. And don’t even think about counting calories. When it comes to snacking, more is always better.

Step 4: Dine at all-you-can-eat buffets. Not only will you get your money’s worth, but you’ll also get your daily caloric intake in one sitting. Plus, it’s a great way to try a little bit of everything and figure out what you like best.

Step 5: Don’t skimp on seconds (or thirds). When it comes to weight gain, seconds are just as important as firsts. So go ahead and pile that plate high. Your waistline will thank you.

And there you have it, folks. The secret to gaining weight the American way. Just remember, it’s not about being skinny, it’s about being strong and confident in your own skin. So go forth and chow down, because as Americans, we do everything bigger and better.


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